Head Hopping
Picture this: You’ve just sat down at your desk to write. You open your computer, place your fingers on the keyboard, and begin to type without abandon. Your dad, two doors down, wonders what to make for dinner. He’s got ingredients for spaghetti, but he’ll have to ask your mom to grab some garlic bread on her way home. It’s one of those effortless days; the words flow out of you with ease, your scene materializing on the page without much effort. After hours of writing, you close your computer–triumphant.
Did something feel… off about this passage? Because I shifted the narrative’s vantage point midway through the paragraph, you probably felt a sense of disorientation. This is a good glimpse into how readers feel when they encounter a common writing issue called “head hopping.” Let’s talk about what this is and how to avoid it in your manuscript.
What is Head Hopping?
Head hopping is a common mistake I see in the manuscripts I work on–particularly those written in third-person limited POV. This happens when an author changes the story’s POV suddenly, literally “hopping” from one viewpoint character’s head to another’s within the same passage or scene. This can make readers feel confused, disoriented, and disconnected from what they’re reading–which is usually not what we’re going for.
Why Is Head Hopping Frowned Upon?
Lots of writers accidentally engage in head hopping, which is totally understandable. It’s way easier to jump into another character’s thoughts and experiences than to do the work of portraying things through the more limited perspective of your viewpoint character.
Instead of keeping your reader immersed into the narrative, head hopping breaks the fourth wall and reminds them that they’re reading a book, not experiencing a story. What’s more, head hopping can make readers feel like an author is inexperienced or sloppy.
Head Hopping or Omniscience? How to Tell The Difference
In third-person omniscient POV, the story is told from the vantage of an all-knowing narrator. This gives authors the freedom to float in and out of different character’s heads, giving readers access to the direct thoughts and experiences of multiple characters at once. So, what makes this different from head hopping?
The short answer is… it’s complicated. While, technically, third-person omniscient POV allows for some jumping between viewpoint characters, this isn’t a license to flit in and out of multiple characters’ minds without any rhyme or reason. In third-person omniscient POV, it’s more important than ever to carefully consider which character’s perspectives to give and when. Without careful consideration of your narrative goals and intended effect on your audience, you can run the risk of leaving readers too confused or disoriented to want to keep reading.
How to Avoid Head Hopping
Head hopping is common, but it’s also easy to spot when you know what to look for. By learning about what head hopping is, you’re already taking a valuable step toward avoiding it in your own writing. Other ways to avoid head hopping include:
Getting clear on point of view: Carefully consider which POV you want to tell your story in, and consistently maintain it throughout the narrative. Learn more about the three major POV types here.
Utilizing chapter and/or scene breaks: Chapter and/or scene breaks can help to serve as visual transitions for your readers, signaling to them that there is a shift in your narrative. If you’re writing a multi-POV story, this might be a good time to naturally switch your story’s viewpoint without making things confusing for your readers. For added clarity, consider labeling your chapters with the name of the new viewpoint character. Otherwise, make sure to make the new viewpoint character known to the reader as early as possible within the new scene or chapter.
Choosing POV characters carefully: Point of view is one of your most valuable tools to create a personal connection between your readers and your story. Too many POV characters can unnecessarily dilute this emotional buy-in, so be sure to carefully consider which characters’ perspectives truly need to be explored. Limiting your number of viewpoint characters will also help to minimize the risk of head hopping and other confusion within your narrative.
Is Head Hopping Ever Okay?
Head hopping is generally frowned upon… but it does still happen. Popular works, like Stephen King’s The Stand, freely flit back and forth between close third person and omniscience within the same chapter, scene, and even paragraph. Though this might be disorienting to some readers, The Stand is one of King’s most popular novels. So, is head hopping always a problem?
My personal opinion: head hopping should be avoided… most of the time. As with pretty much any “rule” in creative writing, I am of the stance that rules can (and sometimes should) be broken–but they have to be broken intentionally and for a very good reason. For instance, a case could be made for an author to utilize head hopping in a narrative where the goal is to make the reader feel confused, disoriented, or frustrated. However, this takes an exceptionally skilled writer and a very patient reader, so this strategy would likely only be used in very specific circumstances.
If you’re an author who’s into breaking rules, experimenting with prose, and trying outside-the-box strategies to emotionally impact your readers, you’ve come to the right place. I started KnightWriting to help writers of all experience levels to hone their manuscripts to tell the story they want to tell. I take authors’ unique goals, writing style, and experience levels into consideration, with a collaborative approach tailored to their manuscript. Check out my website to learn more about me, check out my other blogs, or contact me to chat about your manuscript.
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